Effective Communication

Communicating is a vital part of our lives and for any relationship to be successful and healthy. Unfortunately the majority of problems people have with other people, specifically with their partner, results from poor communication. The main obstacle people have with communication is the habit of using “you” language. An example of this is: “You never take the trash out.” This form of communication attacks the other person, so they become defensive and attack back. Now the couple is in an argument and fighting. They turn away from each other, are hurt and disconnected, and nothing is resolved because neither one of them felt validated or understood.

The key to healthy communication that I will work with you on is “I” statements. For example: “I feel frustrated when the garbage isn’t taken out because the house starts to stink.” When you learn to use the “I” statements formula of “I feel ________ when ________, because ________,” you take all blame and accusations out of the equation. The other person does not feel attacked and therefore has no need to become defensive. This method also helps you to communicate clearly what you feel and why you feel that way when a certain situation happens, leading to validation and understanding.

If having healthy communication, with honest expression of emotions, true understanding and validation feels wonderful to you, then click on the link below to start the journey towards healthy communication with your partner and others.