Relationships and Connections

Connections and relationships are vital to us. Even though some of us may be introverts and get anxiety and stress over being around people, we still need connections and relationships. We need to feel that people are there for us, that we can trust them and count on them. This is even more critical when we are in a romantic and committed relationship. (MORE???)

The problem begins when we don’t feel safe in our relationships, when we feel betrayed and that trust has been broken with our partner. (Or parents/children). When there’s not that connection and trust, relationships start to suffer. Distance and disconnection increase. As does the fighting and yelling. Addictions start, or increase when we feel disconnected and not secure in our primary support systems, our partner/s, and parents. When we don’t feel safe to turn to our partner, or to go to our parents, we turn towards other people and other things, like pornography, drinking, drugs, food.

Couples come in seeking counseling because their relationship and connection are suffering. Couples get stuck in their negative relationship cycle. They typically don’t feel safe or secure, connected or supported, accepted or appreciated, or they feel interrogated or abandoned. Couples will generally be able to recognize that there is a problem, but they typically don’t recognize the negative cycle that they’re stuck in, or how their behavior affects their partner and how their partners behaviors affect them.

I facilitate the couples exploration and journey into their relationship cycle to guide them in recognizing their cycle and the affect their behavior has on their partner and how their partners behaviors affect them. In more detail, we explore what their partner does and how that makes them feel, and then in turn what they do and how that makes their partner feel, that then loops back to their initial behavior.

We continue our journey by analyzing their relationship cycle so that they see the whole picture and the cause and effect of the cycle. We can then inquire about how they feel, what they need, and how what they are currently doing may be comfortable, the results are the opposite of what each of them truly desires and how neither one of them is getting what they need or what is healthy or beneficial. We discuss what they truly desire, along with how to get it and how to turn their negative relationship cycle into a healthy and fulfilling relationship cycle. This requires being vulnerable to their fears, but in trusting that their partner will be there for them, their relationship cycle will change, and they will both get what they desire.

If you are ready to discover your relationship cycle and to learn how to learn to start being vulnerable in order to change your negative relationship cycle into a positive relationship cycle and get what you